★Vanished then returned★
★About that...★
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| A new me~ |
A lot has changed in my life over the last few months, not only have I left my partner of a 9/10 year long relationship, but I have undergone a lot of changes with family, friend, where I live and even life, So I feel it is about time I updated this blog with a little of whats happened.
In the 3 odd months since I've posted here I've undergone loads of changes and unfortunately not all were good. I discovered several health issues that are still under investigation which can sometimes leave me in a predicament that forces me to walk on crutches for awhile until the pain stops. It is nothing I can not handle but it can be a hassle. Family wise, there has been a lot of illness, family members being in and out of hospital, including my self so it has been a trying time. In this time period an old friend of mine passed away and another moved out of the country. At the time, to add insult to injury my fiancee and I amicably broke up after 9/10 years of being a couple with 3 years of which being engaged. Due to all this chaos I had a few break downs needless to say and hand to close myself off from the world.
One thing after another it felt but I regret nothing.
Due to finally discovering my health issues I am able to do things about it, its not much but it means now thanks to the doctors help I am able to keep calm and handle it. Especially since it can put me under a lot of physical pain, I do not let this stop me, even on the first day of nemacon 2012, under all that paid I still drove through it with pride. I may have not have gotten the best photo's from the con but still I was very happy with how much hard work we all put in, being all the staff, with the con and hope next year is a lot better~
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| Nemacon 2012 - Selling At The Pockey Stand Before Lolita Lounge Opening |
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| Nemacon 2012 - Photo's in the Lolita lounge, first time I'd sat down all day~ |
As well as myself being ill, there has been a lot of illness in my family, mostly being of my mother and grandmother (or as I call them mummy and nana haha) but thanks to the wonderful hard work of the hospital and the NHS and the both of them working hard to get better, both are on the road to recovery, both with separate illnesses unrelated. I also had my brother fiancee Zoe getting extreme food poisoning and my nephew Luke getting ill as well! Its also been amazing at how much my family pulling together with a special mention to my auntie Net, uncle John, step dad David (who I call Pops) and my darling brother Simon <3
In all this chaos too I did not look after myself very well and found myself collapsing and fainting at a constant rate, if it was not for my big brother Simon I probably would still be recovering and not aiding myself
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| Left to Right Nana, Myself and My Mummy My Auntie's weeding |
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| Left to Right Simon (My Brother) & Myself My Auntie's Wedding |
As I mentioned earlier, an unfortunate thing happened being my fiancee and I broke up. I repeat this was amicably slightly, as we decided to go our separate ways. Sometimes in life these things happen, we may not want them to, wish it or even understand why, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I won't lie, I was deeply in love with my ex and it is still sad things have gone this way but it is better this way. Our lives were two different and there were too many things in the way for us to be a couple but we are both okay and it was a decision we both made together after serious thought.
After this happened I had a horrendous break down and closed myself from the world, for awhile it seemed hopeless, I was unsure what to do with myself and then just like as quick as it happened all my friends came to support me and get me back on my feet. Honestly these guys are amazing and I thank each and everyone one of them but during this time of "single life" the most curious thing happened, I found myself in a situation where too many people were asking me out on dates, to be honest it was flattering but uncomfortable. I was able to change my life, including getting over my hoarding problem, it effects me sometimes but using this I was able to completely re-do my room and stared to revamp my wardrobe.
Since gaining this new independence and new confidence i hadn't had in what felt like forever I even tried out a few new styles and gain confidence in my appearance enough to try brand new things. I may not have looked perfect, swag filled or even normal but for me trying something other than lolita was a whole new world for me and opened a huge window or opportunity.
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| Everyone at nemacon 2012 |
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| Hanging in Leeds |
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| Frillies in town |
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